I totally meant to do this

I could have written today's post about a fabulous poached squash recipe that I had planned out and executed flawlessly, but that would have made me a big ol' liar and I would lose loads of street cred. Instead, I'm going to tell you what actually happened and take this opportunity to give a very important lesson in kitchen-fu: mistakes happen. At some point, you are going to screw up a dish. Sometimes there will be no saving it and you will have to dump the food out, in which case I hope it's not terribly expensive to begin with. Maybe less caviar and unicorn tears next time? Most of the time, though, the dish can be salvaged in some way.

I started out trying a sauteed squash dish. I had picked up some yellow squash and peter pan squash (pictured below), along with some grape tomatoes at a local farmer's market, and found a sauteed squash recipe that would use all three.

Yellow squash.

Peter Pan squash. 

 I have to go off on a tangent here for a minute, because it's important to note, and I'm just kind of rambly, so get used to it. If at all possible, I highly recommend going to farmer's markets for produce during the growing season. Where I live, we have a pretty long growing season because the yearly temperature range is slightly chilly to the asphalt is melting. Man, that week of winter is great. Anyway, it is a good idea to read up a bit on how to judge whether or not fruits and vegetables are ripe. I'll be adding a handy-dandy guide for that, at which time this sentence will be replaced by a magical link. In the meantime, if you find yourself looking at a totally alien plant on a nice farmer's stand, do the right thing and just ask them to pick one out for you. I've never had that go wrong. They want to give people the freshest produce because they want people back. Because they need money. To grow more stuff. I think you get my point.

I'll give you a quick rundown on how to look for the vegetables listed here. Let's start with peter pan squash -- I have no idea. Seriously, it looked interesting, so I got one that was firm and white. I guess I lucked out because it seemed ok, minus the skin, which was reported to be edible but sure isn't good.

I am well acquainted with yellow squash. It is one of my favorite summer vegetables. When I was growing up, it was a constant in our vegetable gardens, and the one year I grew a garden as an adult, I ate enough of the stuff to where I'm pretty sure I've now absorbed the squash's power. It has a mild flavor, buttery texture, and goes well with pretty much everything, but that may just be my opinion.  The little squashes are what you look for here, before they grow up and become...I dunno...soccer hooligans? I'm not familiar with what is hip and trendy in squash culture. Ripe yellow squash is firm, but the skin is soft enough to puncture easily with your fingernail. If the skin is tough, it's gotten too big and will probably best you in fisticuffs.

Tomatoes are pretty simple. Whatever the variety, unless you're talking about green tomatoes (spoilers, I'll be adding a recipe with green tomatoes soon), you want a firm tomato but not hard, with no wrinkling or soft spots. Grape tomatoes are tiny, though, so you can't really stand there and squeeze every one. Well, you could, but the old lady behind you may shank you, step over your corpse, and go on with her shopping. Trust me, that's no way to go. Just look for a basket of them that looks good and move on. Chances are they'll be fine.

Ok, so on with the recipe:

Squash Disaster Skillet

Pictured with my Fresh Basil Garlic Bread and Green Tomato and Zucchini soup.

Ingredients:

2 T. butter or so, enough to saute the garlic in. Just don't go crazy with it.
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 C. grape tomatoes, more or less
2-3 yellow squashes, sliced. If you eat a slice raw before you start cooking it, I won't tell
1 large peter pan squash, cubed is the best way to put it I guess? It's a weird shape, so I just cut off the top and bottom and chopped at it until the world felt right.
Water, enough to cover the bottom of a large skillet and partially submerge the veggies
Salt and pepper to taste.

Melt butter in a large skillet on medium-high heat. Put minced garlic in the pan, but promptly get distracted and forget about it until the garlic is crispy. Quickly cover it with the squash and tomatoes in some vain hope of smothering the crispness out of it. Mix it around, but accidentally toss some of it out when you stir it too vigorously. Throw away that portion as an offering to the squash gods. Salt and pepper the veggies, then mix the contents of the skillet a little more gently this time. Feel proud that only one tomato escaped.

Watch the skillet like a hawk because of your paranoia induced by the garlic incident. Wait a few minutes, and stir. Notice that the squash is not getting any less firm, but the tomatoes are reducing with lightning speed. Repeat a couple of times, then question your life choices.

Cover the skillet and vow not to touch it for at least 10 minutes. At 9 minutes and 58 seconds, lift the lid and notice how pristine the squash is, as if taunting you. You want me to soften up? Bah! I am immortal, and you are but a simple home cook, it seems to say. Maybe cry a little. It's ok, no one can see you but that evil squash. Furiously look through the recipe you found. Realize that the tomatoes should have been added later and that you really should have read more carefully.

In a fit of despair, pour water into the skillet. Clean up the water that splashed out because you poured it in too quickly. Pour in some more, carefully, until the veggies are about half submerged. Turn the heat to medium and make sure there's a healthy bubble from the water. Cover and pray.

Stir occasionally and breathe a sigh of relief as you see the squash cooking and the tomatoes not burning. Continue to cook until the squash is tender. Congratulations, you have saved the day. Enjoy your dish and bask in the glory of your victory.